Curated artifacts for the discerning escalator enthusiast.
Our most enigmatic offering yet: a carefully curated collection of patterns that may or may not have been observed in the wild on actual handrails (we’ll never tell). Each vinyl sticker in this pack contains trace amounts of ancient handrail wisdom, passed down through generations of escalator mystics.
$12.99
The perfect way to tell the world “I climbed the stairs today because I had to, not because I wanted to.” Wear this enamel pin as a badge of honor for all those times you’ve muttered “seriously?” at an “Out of Order” sign.
$15.99
Finally, jewelry that combines your love of geometry with your passion for moving stairs. This sterling silver pendant lets you secretly measure escalator angles while pretending to adjust your necklace like a normal person.
$89.99
These socks transform your feet into regulation-compliant escalator steps, because why shouldn’t your ankles be safety-conscious? Perfect for those times when you want people to say “Are those… escalator steps on your legs?”
$18.99
Immortalize Surrey’s favorite stair-conversion machine (when it's actually running). This conversation piece perfectly preserves that rare moment when all steps were moving, a fleeting miracle now preserved in print form.
$45.00
These aren’t just bookends—they’re miniature replicas of the things you hold onto while avoiding eye contact with strangers on escalators. Your books have never felt so efficiently supported or oddly specific.
$129.99
