The Escalator Company

  • An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs.
  • Congratulations, you’re now part of the world’s slowest roller coaster ride.
  • The average escalator handrail moves approximately 0.007% faster than the steps due to its slightly longer path.
  • The elevator predates the escalator by a significant margin. The first escalator was actually called an “inclined elevator.”
  • What’s an escalator’s least favourite dance? The elevator… because it has no steps.
  • The standard angle of inclination for most escalators is 30 degrees, though some try to be unique and is 35 degrees.
  • The reason escalator steps are grooved isn’t just for grip—the pattern helps them nest together when they fold under at the ends of their journey.
  • The word “escalator” actually became a victim of its own success—it lost its trademark status because too many people used it generically.

Who We Are

Ascending Beyond the Ordinary.

A Higher Calling

Some see mechanical convenience—we see poetry in perpetual motion, a testament to humanity’s devotion to elegant transit.

The Connoisseur’s Journey

Not everyone appreciates the subtle symphony of a perfectly calibrated rise. We don’t expect them to. Excellence recognizes excellence.

Distinguished Elevation

There exists a certain breed of observer who finds profound beauty in the intersection of movement and architecture. Welcome home.

  • We categorically deny accusations of being a cult. We are merely a collective of individuals who appreciate the metaphysical significance of mechanized vertical and diagonal transport. Any resemblance to cultish behavior is purely coincidental and/or mandated by our Grand Manual of Elevation.

Join the Order of Perpeptual Ascension.

Have you felt it? That inexplicable pull towards the gleaming machinery of elevation? Perhaps you’ve caught yourself whispering “tread demarcation” in your sleep, or measuring angles of inclination while others mindlessly float through their pedestrian lives.

Human figure with rays of light emanating

We See You.

The signs have always been there.

  • You judge buildings by their vertical transportation choices.
  • Your friends don’t understand why you need photos of malls.
  • You’ve developed strong opinions about handrail materials.

We’ve been watching. We’ve been waiting. Your observations haven’t gone unnoticed.

The Path to Ascension.

Do you have what it takes?

  1. Renounce your attachment to level surfaces.
  2. Master the art of dignified standing.
  3. Learn our sacred terminology—starting with balustrade.
  4. Join the Movement*
  • * No actual movement required. Standing still is OK.

The Opposition. A Field Guide.

It would be negligent not to address the crude alternatives that plague our urban landscape. Know them. Study them. Rise above them.

Stairs

Stairs

Nothing screams architectural mediocrity quite like static steps stacked upon themselves. In their stubborn immobility, they mock the very essence of progress, standing there like ancient relics of a less enlightened age.

Elevators

Elevator

Behind those gleaming doors lies nothing but a glorified metal cage, masquerading as innovation. Their crude binary nature—up or down, no nuance—betrays a fundamental misunderstanding of the transcendent diagonal experience.

Moving Walkways*

Moving Walkways

At first glance, one might mistake them for kindred spirits, sharing our devotion to automated transport. Yet their commitment to horizontal banality reveals a tragic lack of vertical aspiration—the mark of those who dream in two dimensions while we ascend in the third.

Report Architectural Heresy
  • * The Order maintains a diplomatic relationship with airport moving walkways solely during layovers exceeding three hours.